You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
