idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
