"it" just moved
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
