***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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