We won't sleep together?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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