I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
