really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
