babies were throwing up all over the place
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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