I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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