Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
