I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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