why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
