I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She told me I should be a condom model.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
