Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
