Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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