I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
