So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize