I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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