You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
