were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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