I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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