Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
