...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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