I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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