i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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