Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
