my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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