are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
