....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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