why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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