Need sex. Gaining weight.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
