your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
