Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
whose parrot is this?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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