he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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