stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
