So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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