I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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