I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
