either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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