Im at strip club and am horny
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
