tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
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I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
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Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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