It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
