Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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