i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
