Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
