I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
