I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
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