New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
