He told me they were just razor bumps!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
