i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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