Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I would ride that face into the sunset
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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