I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize