THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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