Do vagina's smell?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
