***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
