Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
this will be a night to untag.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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