Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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