My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize