I hate all girls vehemently.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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