DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
