That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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