'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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