This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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