My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Blood and glitter go together right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
