I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
