I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
