the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
