8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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