i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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